Blog 28
A New Life in Valencia
Our third year..
Self discovery and plum cake!
I am sitting alone on the balcony enjoying the early morning sunshine.
As I sip my green tea I watch several tiny birds fight over my toast crumbs.
The air is filled with the strong heavenly scent of the orange blossoms. They seem even sweeter this year, maybe after so many months of heavy rain.
I realised this was the third year that I had seen the orange trees in blossom, and enjoyed their wonderful perfume.
The time has gone by so fast..
I think about the recent journey of self discovery I have been on, during the wet winter and early spring months.
About the things I now recognise in myself that I hadn't before.
I sit pondering everything over in my mind, wondering if I should share it or keep it private..
I've come to the conclusion that seeing as I am already sharing my journey with you, to leave out something so huge wouldn't feel right!
With so much time to myself, without all the loud distractions of life. I have had a chance to notice some things about myself.
Ive been joining many dots together and have just discovered who I am, who I have always been.
It's been like looking into a mirror and seeing myself honestly, for the first time. If anyone would have tried to tell me this only several months ago, I would have completely rejected the idea of it..
It started after several light bulb moments led me to read and then research some things. I started journaling memories from my childhood, teens, then adult life.
As a child I knew that I was different. I have always liked who I am and quite enjoyed the feeling of not being ordinary.
I can remember when I was young, often hearing my mum saying “Sorry…She's highly strung!” She followed it by rolling her eyes and tutting to herself.
I had no idea what it meant, she would say it mostly to strangers but I knew it was to apologise for something I had either said, done, or not done!
I can remember regularly hiding under tables and refusing to come out, either at the drs surgery or at a relatives or friends home, I didnt know or like much.
I started school at age 5, in a large old Victorian building, it looked and felt like a prison. Surrounded by a tall dark brick wall with high iron railings.
I can remember being escorted to the toilets, by a female teacher who squeezed my tiny hand really hard. Then being forced to bite down on a used bar of soap, for saying something she felt inappropriate!
The school was only round the corner from our home, and I often used to plot my escape then walk home and hide in our front porch.
Mum would discover me several hours later, after returning from the shops or visiting friends with my baby brother.
I have always had an over active imagination and had several imaginary friends around this time.
Both me and my brother developed ticks around the age of 6, a regular routine of heavy blinking and winking accompanied by strange vocal noises. We still both have them today, although much milder.
I would hear a song or tv theme once then instinctively play it on my recorder, then a few years later on my piano.
Around age 11 I knew every word to every song in the charts, and could name almost every song I had ever heard, just from the first couple of notes of its intro.
School reports always said I was a day dreamer and in my own head.
I would lay awake for several hours naming every member from bands or pop groups I knew, from the 1960s, 70s, & 80s, over and over before I went to sleep.
As I grew older I became obsessed with planning my outfits from head to toe. Often a week before going out to meet friends on the weekend. I would search through magazines getting inspiration including all accessories.
Throughout my twenties it was still the same only now I would also spend ages doing my hair and make up. Often changing my outfit last minute into something old and comfy then washing all my make up off.
It could take several hours and was quite exhausting!
Sometimes if I would see someone walking in the distance on the other side of the street, who I knew a little, like a neighbour or another mum from the school. I would over think how I would react over and over in my head, then as we passed each other instead of saying hi or waving, I would look down at the ground.
They would ignore me from then on, thinking I was rude. This happened so many times, eye contact has always been an issue too.
At times it felt like an invisible fog came over me that wouldn't allow me to physically speak, or socially interact. Especially around lots of people I didn't know, or know well.
I would agree to meet up and go out with colleagues or new friends, feeling too overwhelmed at the time to say no. Then spend the next few days absolutely dreading having to go along, and think of how I could get out of going. Often being unable to think about anything else!
For many years I couldn't leave a bean in a can of baked beans, because I would feel sad for it being alone!
In small shops, cafes and restaurants I feel extremely exposed and I have to perform and act to get through it. (Unless it's one I know well and go in often.)
I overthink everything, and often completely misread people at social occasions.
Bosses and colleagues have said over the years, “what on earth goes on in your head, I'd love to know”. Even when I am performing very well.
It's the small stuff that seems to come naturally to other people, that can be exhausting.
I love to write lists filling journals and notebooks super quick. I have many obsessions, especially with food. My husband calls me the death row chef! As I always cook a repertoire of my favourite foods.
I would honestly make a pizza from scratch every day if I lived on my own.
These are just a few of the things I came up with when I delved deep into myself.
All of these things along with far too many others to mention here, I have always thought were just a part of my personality or character.
Its only very recently I came across big words describing some of them as -
Social avoidance, masking, anthropomorphism, perfectionism,
sensory overload, anxiety disorder.
Tourette syndrome (only around 10% of TS patients are affected by the swearing part!)
Hyperfocus, advanced auditory processing, Asperger,s syndrome\autism spectrum disorder.
The realisation that quite likely what I had assumed all these years to be my personality, or a part of my unique character, are in fact conditions with names.
At first it was quite shocking, but I gradually became accepting and more comfortable with it.
I recognised so much of myself in what I was reading, it stunned me..
My husband has found it all very illuminating and helpful too, saying it explains so many of the things we have gone through together over the past 30 years!
I have never much liked the idea of putting labels on people. But I now realise I am obviously neuro divergent, as opposed to being neuro typical.
For now, (at age 56!) I feel happy to leave things at that!.
Mid afternoon I cycled into town for my Spanish class. For several months it had been quite challenging with all the heavy rain, and often I got absolutely drenched. Some classes got cancelled.
But today as I passed the orange groves on either side of the river bank path, breathing in the heady scents of the blossoms, I noticed just how wonderfully green and vibrant everything looked.
Baby ducklings were swimming in a line behind their mum. A pair of elegant white birds with jet black stalk-like legs were standing in the shallows, and several green turtles were sunbathing on a rock together.
As I went closer to get a better look they all plopped into the water and submerged themselves..
This afternoon the large community building known as the pensionista, was unusually silent. The bar was closed and the tables, normally filled with elderly locals playing cards, were all empty.
I found it a little eerie so I waited for some others to turn up before I went through the large doors at the back.
I thought about an evening during the winter when the bar had been filled with people (mostly English!)
A rather lively chap from our class had organised a salsa evening. He used to do a lot of ballroom dancing back in England, and with his infectious fun energy it was a really good night.
I went with my friend from class, and recognised several other people as I glanced around. My yoga teacher was there with a friend so we joined them.
All drinks at the bar were one euro for the event, so as you can imagine most people were quite tipsy!
The salsa dancing was upstairs in the large room with the mirrored walls, where our class is held. It felt great to dance, I have always enjoyed dancing..
My daydreaming was interrupted as people started to arrive. We went up to the room and started arranging the chairs and small tables into their usual line.
When the teacher came in he told us that there had been a disagreement between the management and local council, and apart from a couple of classes the building now remains locked!
He told us to open our books, and that we would be learning about items of clothing.
I already knew some, from ordering from Spanish stores online and the large price list behind the counter in the charity shop.
But I did learn a few new ones..
Ropa is clothing
Vestido is a dress
Pantalones are trousers
Camiseta is a T-shirt
Zapatos are shoes.
Gaffas are glasses and sol gaffas are sunglasses!
The only one I thought was obvious was chaqueta, which is a jacket.
The teacher announced that next week we would be doing a quiz on everything we had learnt this year! I do love quizzes..
After class I joined my husband and some of the hiking group for drinks on the paseo.
He had been excited as he left early this morning as today they were hiking up Mont-Go. The large mountain we can see from our beach. He had wanted to do it for several months.
As I approached them all sitting in the sunshine, I could see that they were exhausted.
I went in and ordered my drink, then joined them.
They told me they had climbed almost to the top, but they had pre booked a curry for lunch in Denia and the restaurant closed at 4 pm so they had to climb back down as they were pushed for time.
I could tell they were a little disappointed, but by all accounts the curry turned out to be very good.
Later in the month I was busy working a shift in the charity shop. I had become familiar with most of the regulars, and some of the North African ladies had seen me at the Friday market and smiled, which was nice.
One of my favourite customers is Prince of the Valencian gypsies! So my Spanish speaking colleague quietly told me.
My friend from class who lives in the old town has a gypsy king as her neighbour! I didn't even realise they were actual things until recently.
Apparently they are elders who are greatly respected within the gypsy community.
I must say compared to some of my customers in the shop, I have always found him and the other men who are always with him to be warm hearted, kind and generous.
They also have a great sense of humour and despite the language barrier, we always manage to share a laugh!.
Around midday, just as I had a very long queue, we had a power cut and all the lights went out. Fortunately the shop has lots of large windows and with no electric till, I just kept serving using my pen and paper, and cash tin as usual.
By the time we had locked up at l pm, we had heard the whole town was without power.
My friend from Spanish class had come to meet me, we had planned to have lunch together, but it didn't happen.
We noticed that all the shops had closed and cafe and bar owners were standing out on the street, looking confused.
Luckily we had some change between us and managed to get a couple of small cold beers.
The nice English lady from the international shop, next to the bar we sat outside, told us she had just heard it was the whole of Spain that was without electricity!
Unable to message my husband, I decided to cycle home. We had no electricity or water coming from our taps. We also had no signals or internet on either of our phones!
We decided to go for a walk about the neighbourhood. Some men were sitting in their cars, listening to their radios, trying to gather information.
We popped into our local pizza restaurant and bar, and were told they have no working toilets, could only take cash, they couldn't offer food, and drinks would be served in plastic cups!
This was ok with us but we saw lots of people come then get turned away, as they didn't have cash!
We went back home after a while and I started to gather up candles, torches, and batteries. The water situation was worrying, we had about half a bottle of sparkling.
But thankfully Watson's bowls were full. I had gotten into the habit of giving him two since the heatwaves last summer. In case a door slammed when we were out, I left one in the living room and kitchen.
Later in the evening we went out again, as it was so strange with zero information coming from our phones or the TV or radio.
I was now starting to panic about our water situation, we were due to do a large food shop the following day, so there wasn't much of anything really.
With Watson, we popped into our local bar, everyone else had the same idea and it was packed full inside and out. They could only serve bottled beers, shots or wine again in plastic cups.
They had more people helping behind the bar than I had ever seen in there before.
We sat outside and got chatting to the only other English person there. I had chatted a little with her before as we both walked our small dogs around the neighborhood. She kindly offered to give us a 5ltr bottle of water and a bottle of wine, so I relaxed a little.
Several hours later the landlord was still serving people, now in the dark, wearing a miners head torch, but he gave up in the end and had to close.
With no street lighting it was starting to feel a bit unnerving. Would there be looting, came into my mind, among other things!
But I was grateful at least it wasn't Summer, when we relied on the air-conditioning to survive! We walked the lady and her little dog home, and she kindly lent us the water and wine.
The positive was we could see a lot of stars without all the light pollution while sat on the balcony!
Thankfully when we woke up in the morning the power had returned, and it felt good to finally be able to learn what had gone on.
At first there were suggestions of foul play by the Russians, but I think in the end it was more to do with the weather, and gathering energy from wind turbines.
I am not sure what to make of it all but one thing I do know is I learnt a valuable lesson that day.
We now have 100 litres of water, several canisters of gas for our camping stove, nuts, tinned tuna and tomatoes, dried rice, plus food for Watson stored in our garage.
As well as a small amount of cash, several torches and batteries, in our apartment.
Our American friends are also prepared. It had only been a day and a night but it was starting to feel quite scary..
Ona handed me a box filled with lemons from a tree in her garden. She mentioned that Pedro was poorly and off his food.
Its quite amazing just how much we can get across to each other by miming, pointing and using our facial expressions!
They are such lovely neighbours, they treat us like family and have always made us feel so welcome, which has really meant a lot to us both..
In early May I went back to England for a few days as it was my dads 80th birthday. All the family came and we had a lovely meal together in an Italian restaurant.
Then a little garden party afterwards back at dads, and the sun shone all afternoon.
He liked the cake we had made, with the large black and white photo, of him as a young body builder in the mid 1960s, just before he met my mum..
I had seen a poster in one of the town's patisseries, advertising the Associations Gastronomic Fair. Which was to be held over the weekend on the paseo.
So Saturday afternoon we cycled in to see what it was all about.
From what I could gather, all the brotherhoods from the town had set up food stalls and bars, some with huge speakers and sound systems.
Most had large boards showing what they were offering. Some of the stalls were much larger than others, and had makeshift kitchens set up at the back.
I could see ladies busy cooking tortillas on hotplates, and men chopping large mounds of onions with others heating up huge paella pans.
Cars pulled up and ladies dropped off several baking trays filled with roasted stuffed red peppers. They were handed over and placed behind one of the larger stalls.
I saw they had quiche written on their menu too, I do love quiche. My mum made wonderful quiches. It was my favourite out of all the delicious things she would cook for us.
It was a warm sunny afternoon and the trees lining the paseo were offering plenty of shade. We grabbed a couple of small beers and sat down, I looked around trying to take it all in.
I later read it is an annual fundraiser, for brotherhoods to raise funds towards costumes and costs for all the fiestas.
Unfortunately all those glorious stuffed peppers and paellas and quiches had pork in, no great surprises there!
After walking the whole length of the paseo, having eyed up all that each stall was offering,
I became distracted as really loud music with a thumping baseline started up. We wandered up to the stall right at the far end to see what was going on.
A group of male teens were running the stall, and their sound system and speakers were impressively loud, almost too loud now!
They were all very enthusiastic and we felt we wanted to support their efforts.
As we ordered our drinks I noticed they had a display of french fries in white plastic cups high up, along the top of their bar. With a sign saying chips for two euros.
We thought well at least they wouldn't have pork in, so we ordered some each.
After paying, a young lad reached up to the display and took down two small white plastic cups of chips and presented them to us.
I don't know if you have ever tried frozen chips several hours after they have been cooked, or maybe they had just defrosted them, who knows.
But the soggy cold chips were our new all time low of eating out! We did have a good laugh about it though ..
I decided to make some lemonade using some of the lemons from Ona. I gave the skins a rinse with warm water, cut them into quarters and put them into my blender.
With some water and caster sugar then gave it all a decent wizz. I put it through a sieve then blended again, for just a few seconds.
It tasted so good, I had read that if you can guarantee the lemons are not dipped in wax or covered in other chemicals, when you leave the skin on, all the essential oils stay in the drink.
Over ice it was just delicious..
Our neighbourhood was starting to get busy again for the start of the season.
One of our French neighbours had just driven down from Leon and bugle boy and his family are here. He announced their arrival by playing several new tunes, during siesta time, with all their windows and shutters open!
He is still quite screechy and there are lots of off notes, but I notice a slight improvement. His playing does amuse me, so his arrival is welcome.
As I walk past the ladies playing their card games in the evenings, they wave and say buenas tardes (Good evening).
Finally I had met with their approval!..
One afternoon in early July we had a short but violent thunder storm, thankfully we were home with Watson.
The bad news is our apartment got struck by lightning! The noise was absolutely terrifying. We knew instantly what had happened, and the power went out.( Again!)
After it had passed all our neighbours were standing out in the street, it wasn't only ours, it had struck four different blocks all next to one another, with one large strike!
Thankfully the power came back on after a short while, but everyone's TV aerials were destroyed. This didn't bother us as we have internet TV, but most of our neighbors who are only here for the summer, were very annoyed.
However, just a few days later we discovered that our air con wasn't working. It turned out that the strike had melted a vital component of our unit up on the roof, resulting in it not being able to blow cool!
The following week we had temperatures reach 38 degrees c so that wasn't much fun!.
The deep red grapes in the garden opposite are looking impressively huge. I was glad to see they didn't go to waste.
The elderly man must live in the town as he comes quite often to tend to the rambling garden. Nobody has ever stayed in the large house since we have been here.
I watched as he climbed up on his ladder, placing a washing up bowl under each huge bunch.
As he snipped at the stalks above, the plump grapes fell into the bucket.
I could tell he had done it many times before. After a couple of hours working under the glare of the hot sun, he had picked them all and loaded them into his van..
That same morning Ona handed my husband a carrier bag full of ripe plums.
After pondering for a whole afternoon what best to do with them all, I decided to make a couple of plum cakes.
I found an Austrian recipe. I had never had or made a plum cake before, but it sounded nice.
It honestly turned out to be the best cake I had ever made.
It looked so pretty and tasted absolutely divine, it is definitely my new favourite cake!
For one medium sized cake I used 10 small ripe purple plums, pitted and halved.
140g of softened butter, 150g caster sugar, 4 large eggs, separated, 90g natural greek yoghurt, 200g SR flour.
I lined a rectangular baking tray with baking paper, and pre heated my oven to 175c/350f.
Whisked the eggs whites in a clean dry bowl with a pinch of salt, until they form peeks.
Then in a separate bowl creamed together the butter & sugar,
Next I beat in the egg yolks, one at a time, and mixed well for 5 mins.
Adding the yogurt, then flour and again mixed well.
Finally I folded in the egg whites, then gently poured it into my lined tray, and spread it out evenly.
Last of all I arranged all the plums, skin side down.
I cooked it for 25/35 mins, until it smelled absolutely glorious and the sponge cake looked golden.
Then left it to cool for at 20 mins, before sieving over a dusting of icing sugar..
I can't tell you enough just how good the cake looks and tastes, (I've now made it three times!)
I took the other one round for Ona and her family. I left it on her door step, wrapped in clingfilm with a little note attached, that I translated using my phone. Thanking her for the plums and hoping that Pedro was feeling better..
We had been invited to a pool party, where the Ozzy Osbourne concert Ozzfest would be streamed live outside on a big screen.
I wasn't that bothered about watching the heavy metal concert, but my husband was very excited about it and was looking forward to seeing Metallica perform.
But of course the pool part of the invitation filled me with utter joy.
We went with my friend from Spanish class and her husband. We met lots of easy going people, from England, the north of Ireland and America.
The host cooked BBQ lunch for everyone, we took along a few vegetarian bits. The temperature was climbing towards 100c, so standing over several BBQs was quite an endurance.
Later when some of us got into the pool, disappointingly it was as warm as a bath!
But I enjoyed floating about and gliding slowly through the water, it was still absolutely blissful..
Towards the end of July, England and Spain were in the ladies euro,s football final. We already knew that the locals here take their sport very seriously.
They set up a big screen in the street next to ours, and closed off the road. We headed out before the game in the hope of getting seats outside the local bar.
Piles of chairs were placed out in the road. We sat enjoying our cold drinks watching as large groups and families arrived each taking a chair from the tall pile, the road quickly started to fill up.
The game was very exciting and the atmosphere was wonderful. The owner of the bar came out, hand on hips looking very impressed with the turn out.
Eventually the game went to penalty shootouts, and it was nail biting stuff.
As soon as England scored the winning penalty, the screen was immediately unplugged! We had no chance of seeing our Lionesses receive their medals.
Fathers and teen daughters looked distraught, children were in floods of tears. The chairs got stacked back up and the whole street was empty within just a few moments!
It seems the Spanish are very sore losers!.
The bar owner must have been very disappointed. Instead of fireworks and celebrations into the night, resulting in fantastic sales, his bar was now empty.
Except for about five of us English, keeping silent with our heads down..
This July has been a record breaking year for loggerhead sea turtles. With twelve nests spotted along the Valencian coast!
One has been discovered just 8 km (5 miles) north of our local beach.
Containing 79 eggs, which have been taken to Valencia,s oceanografic foundation, for controlled incubation.
Apparently cold or warm temperatures can determine the sex of the hatchlings!
If the eggs are kept warm females will be born, and if they are kept cooler males will hatch.
Sadly loggerhead turtles are an endangered species, they're mostly found in the Indian and Pacific oceans.
Some are now heading to the Mediterranean due to its rising sea temperatures.
I read that these turtles search for peaceful and deserted beaches, to make their nests in the sand. Which can't be easy to find in Spain during July!
They are huge, averaging a metre or 4ft in length. They also have very powerful jaws that can easily crush a large conch shell!
Another thing to add to the list, before considering my sea swim...
